How do you get your child’s confidence back when “I can’t, I can’t learn”? This best-selling book tells you

What should we do as parents if our children are not doing well in a certain area during their development?

My friend’s child, Yiyi, is 5 years old and she takes Yiyi to a hobby class every weekend to learn how to draw. Some time ago, the teacher kept telling her about Yi Yi’s performance in class, either not listening to the teacher’s instructions or affecting the other children’s drawing. On one occasion, when the class was still in session, Yi Yi ran out of the classroom, grabbed her friend’s hand and cried while saying she couldn’t draw or draw well.

UNODC Celebrates World Children's Day

“Come on, Yi Yi, you can do it, I believe you can draw well. Immediately, like most parents, my friend wanted to inspire her child’s self-confidence with a positive and encouraging tone. When the child made a little progress, my friend would praise her unstintingly to boost her confidence: “Well done, Yi Yi, keep up the good work!

Despite the friend’s repeated affirmation of the child, her constant encouragement and help to avoid hurting her self-esteem, the results were not good. Yiyi was still resistant to drawing, and she would always say in frustration, “I can’t, I can’t learn.

My friend was anxious and did not know what to do.

Universal Children's Day: Let's give children their rights - Newspaper -  DAWN.COM

In “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” Dr. Covey tells the story of his son learning baseball. He found that over-affirming and over-protective of his child, expecting to change him to meet society’s standards, did not work. Fortunately, Dr. Covey changed his way of thinking, found the crux of the problem, and succeeded in restoring his son’s confidence and making him better and better.

Why is it that the “model parent” technique does not work?

Affirming and encouraging parenting has had a profound effect on us for so long that it can unwittingly influence our judgment and behavior. When our children have similar problems, we refuse to think about the reasons behind them because it’s too much trouble, and we don’t want to admit that our children are really not as good as others in some way because it makes us feel like we’re not being good parents.

So, without thinking about it, we choose the easiest and safest way to cover up our own internal overwhelm, which is to become the model parent in the eyes of the public, using positive affirmation and encouragement as a panacea, not knowing that often what we say to our children is like a pre-programmed procedure, superficial and untrue.

Teaching children how to cope with life's challenges | Psychlopaedia

Relying too heavily on routines and techniques is a head-on approach that does not address the root of the problem, and even if it is alleviated for a while, the problem will still flare up again and again.

What we need to understand is that each child is a unique individual with his or her own pace and rhythm of growth, and there is absolutely no need to apply universal standards to our children.

The first thing we need to change is our own way of thinking

The first thing we need to change is the way we think and the way we look at things. What we should give our children is pure care, focusing on their inner feelings, i.e. whether they can achieve happiness and well-being, instead of worrying that they are lagging behind others, impatiently encouraging them to catch up with others, and protecting them under their wings to prevent their self-esteem from being hurt.

How young children learn English as another language | LearnEnglish Kids |  British Council

So let’s give our children plenty of time to face and deal with their own problems, which is the way to grow up. The role of internal spontaneous factors is far greater than external influences. We believe that our children can gradually build up their confidence and affirm their self-worth in the process of accepting various challenges, stimulating their potential from the inside out, and moving forward steadily one step at a time.

We only need to stand behind our children, so that they can look back and see, so that they can have a harbor to talk and recover, instead of being protected by their parents. In this way, his heart will become stronger and braver to meet their own wonderful life.

Parenting: To keep kids away from the adverse effects of media and games, parents can do this

In today’s society, the pressure to educate children is increasing and the influence of unhealthy elements in the media makes it difficult for parents to educate their children.

Addicted to Media. Children younger and younger are… | by Ashleigh Velasco  | Medium

Because of their narrow daily exposure and the care of their families and teachers, they have too little direct experience and are curious about the world.

At this time, they will use the mass media to understand and explain the social reality, and gradually form their own values and outlook on life.

Because of the innocence of their minds, children tend to be positive about what the media offers. In this way, they unconsciously develop or change their ability to judge right and wrong. At the same time, there is also some false information, which affects the development of children’s physical and mental health.

Tools to Help Identify Real Vs. False Online Information - ConnectSafely

There are many ways to solve this problem, such as

Take time to travel or camp in the countryside, away from the hustle and bustle of the city, and let your children experience the beauty of nature in a beautiful sunset.

You can also let your children spend a quiet afternoon at home with you.

Tips for Camping with Kids | REI Co-op

Keep them as far away as possible from the influence of companionship and the lure of video games, and choose good books to cleanse their minds.

When parents help their children develop the habit of reflection and establish the right values, they will not worry about their children being polluted and their lives will become simple and comfortable.

Fun activities to promote writing skills

Your preschooler is just beginning to master the fine motor skills he needs to become proficient at writing letters and numbers. Now, his attempts may look more like graffiti. It’s ok. Over time, his handwriting will improve. Now, your job is to make writing fun and exciting.

Here are 10 ways to encourage your child to write. Because children learn in different ways, they are arranged by way of learning. However, any child can benefit from advice in all three categories.

For physics learners

Write together. Ask your kids to join you every time you sit down to write a letter or a shopping list, or pay a bill or fill out an order. Give him some writing paper, a blank check or deposit slip, or his own order to scribble while you go about your business. Your child will learn that writing is an important part of everyday life.

“Write” the word with sand. Help your child make letters and words using materials like sand, glitter or cake sprinkles. Cookie dough and pancake batter also work – you can eat the results!

Use modeling clay to form words. First, make large flashcards out of the alphabet or simple words. (Laminate the card if you can. Then roll out the clay string. Have your child trace the words or letters on the card with the clay string. Not only will he learn to recognize words, but playing with the clay will help build his finger muscles , to hone the fine motor skills he needs to write.

Keep a travel log. When you’re traveling together — on vacation, visiting grandma, going to the beach or the zoo — ask your child to bring a notebook where he can write down what he sees, even if it’s just doodles.

For auditory learners

dictation. Have your child dictate a story to you as you write it down. Need a good theme? Try his last birthday party or a recent trip to grandma’s house. Even if your child isn’t actually writing himself, he’s watching you write what he says. This is a great way to strengthen written and verbal connections. You can switch roles as your child learns to write on his own.

Describe the picture. View pictures from magazines, catalogs, or storybooks together. Ask your child to tell you what he thinks people are doing or thinking, and write what he said as a headline. Or ask him to recount a conversation he thinks two people might be going through.

“Publish” a book together. Find pictures your child has drawn in previous years. Stick them on construction paper and ask your child to explain each. Using heavy cardboard, make a cover for the page and let your child decorate it. Help him write a title page that lists himself as the author. Punch holes in the pages and glue them together with yarn or ribbon. Store it on the shelf along with your child’s other books as you would a real book.

For visual learners

Make a photography diary. Take snapshots of your kids with friends and relatives. Paste them into a journal or scrapbook you made together or bought. Ask your child to tell you who is in the photo and where it was taken, and write what he said as a caption. This will be a wonderful keepsake for him when he grows up.

write diary. Children love to talk about themselves. By keeping a journal, your child learns to “talk” about himself in writing. Even if your preschooler is still struggling with the alphabet, encourage him to write a word or two every day in a special notebook with crayons or markers. Make journaling a fun part of his routine (bedtime is usually a good time). If he’s having trouble getting started, you can:

Make specific recommendations. Encourage him to write about his visit with grandma or his play date, even if it’s just doodles or “pretend” writing.
Ask him to tell you what he wants to record in his diary as you write it down. Most likely, he will soon have the urge to write it himself.
Play with letter fridge magnets. Playing with letter magnets on the fridge can help your child practice writing and spelling. He can also trace letters (using colored pencils; crayons are too thick). For portability, you can attach the letter to the cookie tray.